The beginning…

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.
— Oscar Wilde.

Hi, My name is Jessie. This was me….yes was me. I’m not going to run my body down. Like I would have a year ago, I didn’t love my body back then. However, it has still taken me a lot of courage to share these images with you. But here goes…

I was shocked looking at these photos…I won’t lie….flat bottom.

Bad posture, slight dip on my right shoulder from a car accident.

As you can see I have a pretty straight shape, flat all round.

My legs were super skinny and you can see the drop of my right shoulder more so in this image.

After my 4th baby and the constant belittling of my body shape by some one once close, I succumbed to the thought this was me. body issues, mental abuse and self hatred led to depression. Depression is something I have battled with along side eating disorders since I was pre-teen. worsened as I got older….became a darker hole still when I was diagnosed with postnatal depression. For me depression sucked out all my motivation-for myself. I would (and still do) do anything and everything in my power for others, but myself motivation was non existent.

How am I motivated now? Finding motivation has not been easy, especially in the beginning. I’m not going to pretend that even now it comes easy, because there are still days I struggle to find the effort, what I realized was, I would always make excuses. I have to do this, or that, or see them, or help those….There was always time to do everything and anything for the kids, always time to help others, always time to cook big meals, always time to clean…but there was just not enough hours in the day for myself, (lets face it, when the kids are tucked up in bed….all you want to do is sit down and just relax, you’re exhausted) But sometimes you have to think about yourself too. You have to remember your mental health is important too…you have to put you on that to do list too. Plus my children are growing up, one thing I don’t (and any parent) want is their child to ever suffer with body issues or eating disorders. I had to change this before they understood and thought this was ok, and end up the same.

Keep tuned for how I changed my hate to like…and like to love.and remember…you, yes you reading this, you are strong, you are beautiful and you got this.
#mummyfitness #loveyourself #loveyourmind #loveyourbody #loveyoursoul #bekindtoyourself #yougotthis

It wasn’t easy changing my mind set. I certainly didn’t do it alone. With an amazing friend, a super supportive partner and exercise my mind set altered. I first started working out at home, music going, sun beaming down on my skin, kids playing around in the garden, it was great fun. They would come and join in with some warm up, pant and declare defeat and run off. I would only be able to do 5 maybe 6 burpees…and declare defeat also, legs and arms shaking, body sweating and my mind screaming to stop.

A week went by, then two weeks….I was annoyed. I wont lie, I was really annoyed that my body kept giving out on me….but what I hadn’t realized was, it wasn’t my body giving up…it was my mind. I wanted to see progress and hadn’t (so I thought) made any. But the progress I had made was, I was feeling better mentally. I found after a workout, although I was panting, tired, shaking…I felt great, in my mind. Some days I would say ‘I can’t’ I had to really push myself, on those days my partner (PT in training) would push me harder, when I got to 6 burpees and would cry (and I mean I would literally be crying) that ‘I just can’t do it’ he would make me do one extra. Every time I took too long a break between reps, he would make me do one extra. This looking back now was great, because on days we didn’t get to work out together and I was telling myself when I got to my 6th burpee ‘I cant do this’ I made myself do one extra. When I took too long a break between reps, or didnt complete the full 12 and stopped at 11….I made myself do an extra one, sometimes an extra two. The weeks went on, although I didn’t see any progress physically…mentally I felt stronger.

I told myself ‘I CAN do this’ when my legs or arms shook at 8 burpees and pushed myself harder. Then one day I did 10 burpees, straight off. The sense of achievement was mind blowing. That’s when I began to like my body. not because it had physically changed noticeably (I had toned slightly) but i could do 4 more burpees than I could in the beginning. To some that may mean nothing but to me, who it matters to the most, means an awful lot. if i remember correctly my partner said ‘Progress is progress’ and that’s exactly what it was. Progress. My mind felt healthier and my body felt healthier. slowly I began to like my body…not love it. But like it. which I thought I would never have said before.

#zerotohero #onedayatatime #progressisprogress #healthiness #healthymind #healthybody #healthysoul #newblogger #bekind

My First Blog Post

The beginning…

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